Leonard Maltin's 2012 Movie Guide

(A Found Poem) 

Spectacularly stupid
Ripoff yawner talkfest,
An excuse to keep stuntmen
Gainfully employed,
Made its U.S. debut as an
In-flight movie.

Still another spy drama
Motorcycle melodrama
Martial arts mishmash.
Director ate watermelon, pickles, and
Ice cream, went to sleep, woke up, and
Made this fiasco.

Took four writers to concoct this
Clinker tale of serial murders near
Boston (filmed nowhere near Boston)
Liable to test the endurance of
Little children.
It’s pretty lame except

The alien beagle turns into
A big cockroach
(Product placement for
Dr. Pepper). Must have
Looked better on paper.
At least the frog masks are good.

(Spring 2015)